For Grace, a 21-year-old Baltimore trans girl, being with an other woman had been the introduction to topping that she needed. “I never felt comfortable accessing dominance until i possibly could recognize that through lesbian identity, ” she says, describing that topping as a heterosexual man suggested she denied her very own femininity while objectifying compared to her partner’s, that wasn’t on her. “I am appreciating my femininity whenever I top being a lesbian. I’m being a powerful and woman that is supportive” she messages me personally. “I’m keeping my femininity, perhaps maybe maybe not curbing it. ”
Many trans ladies who prefer bottoming can nevertheless find pleasure in topping. “Sharing part of my body having a partner whom seemingly has more control of a human body component than i actually do doesn’t have actually to be a negative thing, ” Xris informs me. “i would like my partner to feel great. ” This kind of service-topping can transform a work this is certainly otherwise seen as a anxious refusal into certainly one of mutual pleasure—even in the event that person topping is inspired more by generosity than by sexual interest.
That i don’t usually like“ I am showing my partner a part of me. Whenever I top, I certainly feel just like I’m being not just susceptible, but also pressing the boundaries of my very own comfort, ” Xris explains. “I’m fine carrying this out if there’s discussion involved. ”
Tops are occasionally assumed alternatively to possess no intimate boundaries, states Grace, referencing her own experiences topping along with her “Swiss Army Knife pussy, ” otherwise known being a penis. Based on the power that is magenta-mohawked, bottoms usually anticipate tops to offer without question, although the penetration for the base warrants a check-in. This proposed instability is, of course, absurd: “It’s maybe not just like the bottom’s permission could be the only thing that’s here, ” Grace says.